"Dear Santa,
I've been good all year.
Most of the time.
Once in awhile.
Never mind.
I'll buy my own stuff."
"When you stop
believing in Santa,
you get underwear."
"Christmas is so much worse as you get older.
It's like, 'What do you want this year?'
Idk, financial security?
A career?
A sense of purpose?
A nap would be nice."